It has been over 2 years since I last blogged. So much has changed! Ben continues to amaze me with this view of the world. He is such a kind loving little boy. Sometimes I just sit and wonder what type of man he will become and get so worried about all the choices I make that do help mold his mind. I worry every day that I am not the best mom I could be. Feel like work and being so tired takes precedence over doing things with Ben. So I look back at this blog and pictures and remember how my young boy started out in this world, how he has overcome so much and it makes me want to do the best job I can for him. He seems to remember things that I have to really try to remember...what a mind he has! He is the reason I continue to work hard, not give up on things and try to make a good world for him. Although I tell him every single day, I need him to always know just what a miracle he is and how much he truly owns my heart! He has changed me so much for the better and I thank him. What a wonderful gift I have been given. I love you my sweet boy!

I know!! Cute right!?!?!

Ben is a talking running yelling machine! He is lovable and kind and very smart. I get so excited to pick him up from "school" everyday. Work is insane and I am working a lot of extra hours lately but hopefully they will not go without notice (me with eyes shut whispering promotion please). Anyway not much time to blog but I think Ben will get a kick outta this when he is a little older. So I post on..

P.S. Ben I received a note form your daycare this week that said "Ben licked the bottom of his shoes today." Really? :)

Seemed to have forgotten I have a blog...

Hello Again! I have neglected my site and will now try (very hard) to update this at least once a month :)

Ben is running, walking, talking, talking back, yelling...etc....etc...

Short and sweet - he was a skunk for Halloween. We did not formally go trick or treating but instead donned costumed at my rents house Sunday morning for all to see. very cute. also very appropriote (little stinker).

The rents had a huge party for old friends/teachers and Uncle Jimmy took this pic. I love it. First really good pic of us togehter.

Ben is developing very well and his motor skills are at a 2-3 year old level! He reminds me everyday of what a miracle he is.

Side note- work going ok, new manager and new team in underwriting but big picture is I still HAVE a job. Promotion probabaly on hold for 6-12 more months. We just had a round of lay offs so not the best time to talk about that. I am excited about my new position and my new manager! My rents had to put Sko down this past Friday. Really is sad and very strange at the house now. Everytime I am home for a visit I keep looking for him and it feels like someone is missing. Tough. Yoda, the cat, I think is taking the worst.:(

Couple more pics to leave you with. Have a wonderful Thanksgiving!

This is Ben Thanksgiving last year! It amazes me!

My brohter and Benny chilling...with Mustafa too!

Happy Labor Day! Ben is 17 months Today!

Here I am.

Well it has been ahwile. Where do I start...

Ben is healthy and such a 14 month old. Just a smaller version of one. He is almost walking. Two big first steps were taken this past weekend. Benny loves his mashed potatoes, cookies, pasta....yeah I am fattening him up! "Helllllloooo carb! Meet Ben's chunky liitle thighs!" Finally, Ben is sleeping through the night. This started just two short, but sweet, weeks ago. And why am I now the human teether? He has 8 teeth which he seems to want to remind me about all the time. And how does one disclipline a 14 month old? Bite them back? Yes, I have been tempted. But I am sticking with the reiteration of "No, that hurt's Mommy". Oh..well that is pre-empted by a "OWWWW". And all of this is followed byBen looking very sorry...then laughing his face off. Oh well. What can I do? He kills me with his smile and gets me laughing right along with him. Boy I have turned into quite the softy and he owns this Mama! He had his first birthday and he was so good the entire party!

Still I work 40 or so hours a week. Sometimes weekends, too. John has been MIA for almost 2 months now. Predictable. I do have sole custody of my baby and this was a battle that I went in guns ready! I had the best lawyer ever - Thank you Judy Potter!

Mom and Dad are as smitten as ever with thier only grandson. They contnue to amaze me with the help they provide. I am blessed.

Okay- I gotta get back to work. But I leave you with a couple pics of my handsome little man!

No Time!

Yes I am horrible about posting on this blog! Work is insame and both Ben and I are just recovering from pneumonia. I swear is has taken a month to even begin to feel better! I wanted to at least put a new picture up of my main man! He is getting so big and vocal. Ben is my world!

6 Months Old Today!!!

Lots' the update you all on!
We had the double hernia scheduled for Oct 3rd. 1 out of every 4 boys are born with hernias - just a little fun fact. Plans changed when on Thursday the 18th I took him into the ER at Maine Med cause the hernias had increased in size. They had literally grown to the size of my fist. There was a member of my hernia doctor's team (AKA Urologist) in the ER and they checked Ben out and advised me to come in the next day. The surgery itself went very well. My mom was with me the whole time. I felt bad cause it was their week in Popham when all this was going on. They were able to do it laproscopically (sp?) and there isn’t even a scar. They usually only give Tylenol and Motrin after surgery but because the hernias were so huge Ben was in screaming pain for 4 hours in the recovery room. They had to go through fetenol, then a coddle (basically a shot in his spine) then finally morphine is the only thing that would help. So we stayed over Friday night and then he couldn't’t go to the bathroom. He had been having trouble for a couple days anyway. So they give him suppositories. And then we went home. Then by Sunday I felt as tough something was wrong. So we took him back to Maine Med emergency. Of course there was a 4 hour wait. Every wacky person you could imagine was in there Sunday night - people in hand cuffs, drunk, etc. But I called the surgeon and said I am NOT waiting 4 hours with a 5 ½ month old so they got us in 2 hours. They said he is upset cause of trying to go to the bathroom and trying to push on his bowels when they are probably very sore and swollen. So they gave him another suppository and more to take home. No day care Monday – another day of work missed. Then Tuesday I drop him off and I go to a very important training that I could not miss because it is required for my much needed promotion. Day care calls by 10:30 and thank goodness my dad dropped everything to pick him up. (As a side note I honestly do not think I would have been able to keep my job or my head on straight if it was not for my Mom and Dad) Then I left work at 3 pm. Out of work Wed…still no BM for the little guy. Thursday same thing- but called surgeon and they said it is ok and to just keep up with the suppositories. Now it is Friday and still out of work -So I call pediatrician. She said NO MORE suppositories. Prune juice now. So I give him prune juice – ½ oz to ½ water. He gives me an evil eye and spits it out. This spitting things (baby food, drinks) right at me his his new trick). So then I snuck some in to his formula. Within an hour he was a almost popping a blood vessel but he went!!!! So Sat he got more prune juice and Sunday he actually went on his own.

And I will save you the details but let's just say he does not have any issues going to the bathroom now. At all. None.

So I am hoping things will stay somewhat under control for at least a couple weeks. I have missed so much work and I really want to show work I deserve a promotion.

I have my first ever night away from Ben coming up. I have a business trip to Boston and my parents are watching Ben for one night. I am so excited but also nervous to leave him.

It is hard for me to find time to update this blog. So the updates will be few and far between.

Ben has his 6 month check up on Oct 10th. He is rolling and teething and doing all the baby stuff he should be.

Ok- hope you all are well! I leave you with a bunch of pics that Sarah took.